Surgery date....

I was wide awake and staring at the ceiling at 4:30 this morning. What do I need to accomplish today, this week, this month that ensures everything runs smooth for our trip to NY? This has been the noise that has been plaguing my mind since June; robbing me of sleep, having any kind of inner peace, and from being present. Two weeks from today we'll be in-route to NY and instead of finding comfort in the fact that God has paved the way for us (once again), that I've accomplished everything on my extensive to-do list (and then some), that this labor of love is nearly complete...I'm sitting here sick with anxiety.

Last Thursday afternoon we heard from Dr. Waner & Dr. O's office, they were requesting that we push back the date of Josie's surgery by one week so that another surgeon can be present. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you are flying across the country with gifted travel points it turns everything into an upheaval. Amelia's birthday was last Friday, my mind should have been completely with her and focused on her exciting day but it wasn't...I was just going through the motions. Today we are supposed to find out when our new surgery date is. I'm praying that God's will be done (but in my selfish mind I really just hope that the date at least lands within a day or two of our original plan). I'm not going to sugar-coat it; the anxiety, mom-guilt and exhaustion are taking their toll. I know there are a lot of you that keep Josie in your prayers, I have one request...please keep praying.